It's fine for relatives to help out when a family is struggling financially, but should family members be forced to help financially irresponsible relatives?
That’s the question the OP is addressing in today’s story.
Let's find out why his family thinks he should help his relative…
I [M40] I have a blended family and cousins [M34] This is someone from my in-laws' side who was previously close to me.
However, they have not been in contact recently due to him moving abroad and conflicts over inheritance.
Recently, I have been receiving calls from various relatives both here and abroad seeking financial assistance for my cousin.
His cousin really needs financial help.
He is behind on his house payments and is more than six months behind on his mortgage and loan payments because of his wife. [native Chinese] I persuaded him to buy a house in Shanghai.
he [ABC, by the way] He had a good job at a stable company, but the virus hit the company hard and it never recovered.
Apparently he was fired eight months ago.
Even though he was fired, he decided to make an expensive purchase.
While we were still talking, he said he was going to buy this ridiculously expensive 2.8 million RMB (about $400,000) house that was basically a concrete box.
I told him he was insane and would regret it for many reasons, but especially that Chinese law meant he would never actually own the place.
He is in a lot of debt.
Four years later, he is still behind on his mortgage of 2 million RMB – just paying the interest – plus a loan of nearly 1 million RMB for decorations to turn the concrete box into a home.
I'm a teacher in the US and I don't make enough money to own my own home, so how can I give someone money to pay off their mortgage when I warn them they'll suffer consequences later?
In China's real estate market, a single day of bad luck or one fraud can wipe out the savings of three generations.
The house was so expensive (for him) that the mortgage interest alone was eating up 70% of his monthly income.
OP doesn’t want to give up her savings.
Now I am being blamed for his stupidity in trying to get him out of this predicament by revealing that I have a decent savings account.
I don't have enough money to buy a house, but I want to buy a new car. I want to buy something good for once, not just something new for me.
Even my own family is tormenting me about this, but I don't want to help.
Would I be a jerk if I didn't help them?
One reader thinks this is the solution…
This reader provides a Chinese perspective.
Another reader offers this advice:
This person points out that the poster was already trying to help.
This gives another reason not to help.
The relative should have listened to his cousin's advice before buying the house.
Asking for help is going too far.
If you liked this story, check out this post where a group of employees got together and talked about why working from home was a good financial decision.