When couples move in together, it's important to set expectations with each other, including who will pay for what.
In today's story, the boyfriend and girlfriend did it, but now the girlfriend is not happy with the arrangement that was agreed upon.
Let's look at the causes of the conflict…
I own my own home and she moved in 7 months ago.
We agreed that it was unfair for her to contribute to my mortgage because I was building assets and she wasn't.
Our agreement was that I would cover all the costs of the home (mortgage, HOA dues, taxes, insurance, maintenance) and she would cover the living expenses (electricity, water, internet, streaming, groceries).
We had discussed all of this before she moved in.
Their monthly expenses are far from equal.
Now, of course, I pay a lot more. I pay $2,000 a month, excluding routine maintenance. She pays about $500 a month.
This is fine with me as it is something we agreed upon.
About the actual conflict.
It is she who is angry.
My gf has started to get annoyed about groceries, we have a list posted on the fridge that we can both add to and she goes shopping about once every 10 days.
She says I have too many “luxury items” on my list and it bothers me to buy expensive items I don't like – the main culprits being oils (olive, coconut, peanut, avocado), vegan yogurt (I'm lactose intolerant) and cashews.
I will admit that all of these are expensive, but I won't use them up anytime soon.
Each large container of oil lasts over a month. A large container of yogurt lasts over a week. A large container of cashews lasts about 3 weeks. The only thing I need to buy frequently is yogurt, which costs just over $5 for a large container.
Plus, I don't eat the cheese or dairy products she buys, some of which are more expensive than what I prefer (fancy ice cream bars and cheese dips).
She has a suggestion.
She encouraged him to buy himself “luxury items” because she had no benefit to them.
This is not necessarily true, since she eats the food I grease, plus this is not our agreement, she is not paying rent, and with the other roommate she would be paying much more than $500 a month.
When I pointed this out to her, she got annoyed and said it didn't matter because we weren't roommates.
He does not agree with her argument.
We were not only boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were also roommates, and I would argue that some of our conflicts are ones most roommates face.
She didn't like the comparison and abruptly ended the discussion, even though she had 20 minutes before she had to leave to go to work.
Some readers have sided with her, thinking she probably actually paid a lot more than $500.
Perhaps she doesn't want to admit that she can't afford the grocery bill.
But others think she is being unreasonable.
I think this person expects too much.
And this reader suggested a potential solution to the problem.
Yeah, this relationship isn't likely to last.
If you liked this story, you might also want to check out this post about a daughter who invited herself on her parents' 40th wedding anniversary trip for all the wrong reasons.
Category: Stories
Tags: aita, boyfriend, girlfriend, groceries, inflation, cohabitation, mortgage, photo, reddit, rent, roommate, top